Invitation Revoked

My invitation to the Mother of the Year luncheon was recently revoked. It all happened so fast. In a few short hours I went from being a potential Parental Genius nominee, praise and adoration sure to follow, to not even being allowed to sit at the cool mom lunch table (much less show my face at all.)

To transfer blame, I am placing it squarely on the shoulders of progress and curiosity. These two culprits have catapulted my daughter from stationary, easily amused baby to constant movement, "one-touch-is-never-enough" toddler. Last weekend she was peacefully observing the world in the grocery cart, happily collecting the fruits and vegetables I would place around her.

This weekend, she just had to try and reach for something on the shelf. And she just had to accomplish this by standing up in the cart. And gravity just had to exist at that exact moment to flip her out of said cart onto the impending concrete floor below. Good thing her head broke the fall.

The worst part is that I was standing right next to her. Unfortunately Usain Bolt and I do not share the same DNA. (Yes I DID just Google "fastest man alive" for the purposes of this blog. No I do not randomly store that kind of information in my head.)

Anyway, she cried, I consoled and it was over much faster than I had expected and she seemed to not suffer any kind of permanent injury. So we went home... where she promptly climbed up onto my bed and tried to jump off. Good thing her head broke the fall.

SERIOUSLY KID?

She cried, I consoled and even the second time around it was over much faster than I had anticipated. I distracted her with a new project; she quickly set to work helping Mommy put together a small shelf. She has a fascination with stacking and piecing together different objects. She knows exactly what to do when I hand her a hammer or screwdriver. "What a great project to get her mind off of what will soon become a monster headache" I thought. Then I noticed the screw and piece of plastic she had swishing around in her mouth.

SERIOUSLY KID?

That was our Saturday. Yes, it is already Tuesday, but it has taken me this long to come out of the rock I crawled under. Now we have a long weekend coming up... who knows what kind of trouble we could get into!